DRUNKER THAN PRINCESSES
Mar. 11th, 2012 11:27 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
metaphasiaPseudo-Liveblogging the Big Time Movie Whilst Watching for the Third Time
This should probably be placed up at the top, it will come in handy very shortly:
10:35 Wait, no, I've got the drinking game. One rule: anytime someone says "world" or "world tour", take a shot.
On second thought, you probably are better off without it.
10:01 And the movie opens with a Beatles number. This is a sign for how things will be for the rest of the movie, but I didn't get it the first time.
10:02 Don't ask how the jet ski got there. Clearly not important to know.
10:04 I'm tearing up. This is some of the most beautiful plot exposition I have ever seen! All bards would be impressed!
10:05 The strategy report actually says "Do nothing and nothing can go wrong" on the cover.
10:05 WAY TO JINX THINGS KENDALL!
10:07 Oh look. It's a man named Maxwell. And he has a silver hammer for a hand. This is actually a clever visual pun.
10:07 WHY CAN'T IT BE BOTH KENDALL?
10:08 "Walk this way." "Well, I'll try."
10:08 Why are all the minions wearing laser tag vests?
10:09 Why is the police guy from Dollhouse trying to be British? He is so not British. He is the least British person I can think of.
10:10 Katie is lethal with those feet. I love her for this so much.
10:11 I totally predicted the Duke of Bath plotline from this scene the first time I saw the movie. NOT THAT BTR LIKES TROPES OR ANYTHING.
10:13 Seriously Kendall, do you want to jinx everything?
10:13 I do love how democratic the band is. Taking votes and everything.
10:18 "And I'm Mater. Average intelligence." Wait, sorry, wrong movie.
10:18 Trying to figure out the drinking game rules for this movie. Possibly take a shot every time someone shoots a tranq gun?
10:21 Oh, you should know better than to ask how much trouble they can get in. And clearly she does, five seconds later.
10:21 OH MAN, THE HEAD OF BRITISH INTELLIGENCE WATCHES MIDDLEMAN! HE SUSPECTS THE BOY BAND!
10:23 I love the name Deadly Girl. That is a name that should be used more often. I think it's a great superhero name.
10:24 The silver hammer joke was funny. Pointing it out was not.
10:29 "cause I'm feeling..." "THE FISTS OF FURY! THE PAIN!"
10:29 It's hard to tell what Sweden's plan for world domination is. I think it involves comedy relief.
10:30 The boxing glove line is one of my favorites.
10:31 Jade says: "Neeeever touch me."
10:32 I'm not so sure what is so terrible about her plan. It's a spy van, right? Also, this might be the first time in history that the "I don't see your X" gets an actual response.
10:34 So, the best use of your chief henchman is to send him to go get pants instead of going to the secret meeting?
10:35 Wait, no, I've got the drinking game. One rule: anytime someone says "world" or "world tour", take a shot. This will probably be about as dangerous to your liver as the Princess Protection Program drinking game.
10:36 First rule of lying: NEVER EVER TIE YOUR LIES DOWN IN SPECIFICS. Come on, Gustavo, this is amateur hour stuff.
10:37 I don't think that blood works the way Katie does.
10:42 I like how Carlos took levels in the Bard class, and is so worried about his dramatic entrance. OH GOD I JUST REALIZED BTR IS AN ENTIRE PARTY OF BARDS.
10:48 Well said, Carlos.
10:49 Why can't we just tranq dart everyone before we hand the backpack over? I mean, wouldn't that make it easier?
10:49 We just ran the silver hammer pun into the ground. Damnit.
10:50 KARATE CHOP THAT ROPE DEADLY GIRL!
10:50 RUNNING! Finally, something we have skill ranks in!
10:50 I think we should have gone with "Water Closet" for the British humor.
10:51 Note: Spy phone not functional as actual phone.
10:51 Three shots in three sentences!
10:52 The vice queen would be the princess, yes?
10:52 Really Logan? After the phone and the blaster were actually a blaster and a blaster, you went and played with the pen?
10:54 Yeah, I totally saw this one coming. I'm just saying, it was blatant.
10:54 I love Katie, so so much. Her awesome backup plan is awesome.
10:55 Why can't we just sic PETA on Moon and be done with this villain?
10:56 BTR, again using their bardic knowledge class ability, to wake up spies this time.
10:56 Can we just leave Katie with Moon, and have him want to send her back after a few hours?
11:00 Jeez, Logan just cannot catch a break, can he?
11:02 "Oops?"
11:02 I mean, those demands didn't seem that unreasonable. Until the sheep field.
11:03 WHY DOES KATIE GET ALL THE BEST LINES?
11:03 Crap! He read the Evil Overlord List!
11:04 "I'm bored, Klytus." Wait, a reference that isn't the Beatles?
11:05 Katie is death on heels! WITH HER HEELS!
11:05 "In TUXEDOS!"
11:05 They're called "solicitors" in London, Logan.
11:05 The van has sensors to detect helplessness. It's like a magnetic field.
11:06 I like to think that they all did the costume quick change. And then I remember how Harper in Wizards mentioned that she hated that because it made her feel like she was naked for a split second.
11:06 Such overly specific analogies everyone uses!
11:07 I like to start with a nice "ba" or "kya".
11:08 Really? If you don't keep pressing the jam button it doesn't work? Wouldn't it be better to only have to press it once?
11:09 I am fairly certain that is not how volcanoes and earthquakes work.
11:09 How are they getting this transmission from MI:6 if all communications were jammed? See, this is why you need a jam button that doesn't need to keep getting pressed.
11:10 They have the bardic ability to Mug For Camera. Bards have always been based on rogues, but with more of a performance based theme. /terriblepun
11:11 This is the best blaster ever. Great sound effect, no recharge time or ammo needed, variable area of effect to only hit bad guys. I really want one.
11:11 The pen doesn't need recharging either.
11:12 "She's got a body like a battle axe." Katie's theme song in my head.
11:12 I'm really certain the effects would not be that immediate either.
11:13 JUST PURSE YOUR LIPS AND BLOW JAMES!
11:13 And the moon shouldn't come right back either!
11:13 Why doesn't Katie do something useful, like punch Moon in the face at this point? Oh wait, the villain has her in the Standard Female Grab Area, and she is therefore helpless.
11:14 God, Katie and Kendall are so awesome.
11:14 This is such a traumatic death sequence. Floating off into space, into the void between stars?
11:16 Wait, I just realized this was our first Weekend At Bernie's joke in the entire film. With as many tranq darts as this film had, I'm surprised.
11:17 And with 13 minutes left in the film, the first and only non Beatles song appears. Oh wait, there was karaoke guy doing the BTR theme. Doesn't really count though.
11:23 She's not even curious about what they were doing all day if they weren't sightseeing. It's better to keep the parents in the dark about the spy stuff anyway.
11:23 I totally saw the Sandwich joke coming at the beginning too.
11:23 SHE WOULD NOT BE THIRD IN LINE! THAT IS NOT HOW IT WORKS!
11:24 They were totally naked for a split second there. Right in front of the girl's father, who didn't say anything.
11:25 AND SCENE!
This should probably be placed up at the top, it will come in handy very shortly:
10:35 Wait, no, I've got the drinking game. One rule: anytime someone says "world" or "world tour", take a shot.
On second thought, you probably are better off without it.
10:01 And the movie opens with a Beatles number. This is a sign for how things will be for the rest of the movie, but I didn't get it the first time.
10:02 Don't ask how the jet ski got there. Clearly not important to know.
10:04 I'm tearing up. This is some of the most beautiful plot exposition I have ever seen! All bards would be impressed!
10:05 The strategy report actually says "Do nothing and nothing can go wrong" on the cover.
10:05 WAY TO JINX THINGS KENDALL!
10:07 Oh look. It's a man named Maxwell. And he has a silver hammer for a hand. This is actually a clever visual pun.
10:07 WHY CAN'T IT BE BOTH KENDALL?
10:08 "Walk this way." "Well, I'll try."
10:08 Why are all the minions wearing laser tag vests?
10:09 Why is the police guy from Dollhouse trying to be British? He is so not British. He is the least British person I can think of.
10:10 Katie is lethal with those feet. I love her for this so much.
10:11 I totally predicted the Duke of Bath plotline from this scene the first time I saw the movie. NOT THAT BTR LIKES TROPES OR ANYTHING.
10:13 Seriously Kendall, do you want to jinx everything?
10:13 I do love how democratic the band is. Taking votes and everything.
10:18 "And I'm Mater. Average intelligence." Wait, sorry, wrong movie.
10:18 Trying to figure out the drinking game rules for this movie. Possibly take a shot every time someone shoots a tranq gun?
10:21 Oh, you should know better than to ask how much trouble they can get in. And clearly she does, five seconds later.
10:21 OH MAN, THE HEAD OF BRITISH INTELLIGENCE WATCHES MIDDLEMAN! HE SUSPECTS THE BOY BAND!
10:23 I love the name Deadly Girl. That is a name that should be used more often. I think it's a great superhero name.
10:24 The silver hammer joke was funny. Pointing it out was not.
10:29 "cause I'm feeling..." "THE FISTS OF FURY! THE PAIN!"
10:29 It's hard to tell what Sweden's plan for world domination is. I think it involves comedy relief.
10:30 The boxing glove line is one of my favorites.
10:31 Jade says: "Neeeever touch me."
10:32 I'm not so sure what is so terrible about her plan. It's a spy van, right? Also, this might be the first time in history that the "I don't see your X" gets an actual response.
10:34 So, the best use of your chief henchman is to send him to go get pants instead of going to the secret meeting?
10:35 Wait, no, I've got the drinking game. One rule: anytime someone says "world" or "world tour", take a shot. This will probably be about as dangerous to your liver as the Princess Protection Program drinking game.
10:36 First rule of lying: NEVER EVER TIE YOUR LIES DOWN IN SPECIFICS. Come on, Gustavo, this is amateur hour stuff.
10:37 I don't think that blood works the way Katie does.
10:42 I like how Carlos took levels in the Bard class, and is so worried about his dramatic entrance. OH GOD I JUST REALIZED BTR IS AN ENTIRE PARTY OF BARDS.
10:48 Well said, Carlos.
10:49 Why can't we just tranq dart everyone before we hand the backpack over? I mean, wouldn't that make it easier?
10:49 We just ran the silver hammer pun into the ground. Damnit.
10:50 KARATE CHOP THAT ROPE DEADLY GIRL!
10:50 RUNNING! Finally, something we have skill ranks in!
10:50 I think we should have gone with "Water Closet" for the British humor.
10:51 Note: Spy phone not functional as actual phone.
10:51 Three shots in three sentences!
10:52 The vice queen would be the princess, yes?
10:52 Really Logan? After the phone and the blaster were actually a blaster and a blaster, you went and played with the pen?
10:54 Yeah, I totally saw this one coming. I'm just saying, it was blatant.
10:54 I love Katie, so so much. Her awesome backup plan is awesome.
10:55 Why can't we just sic PETA on Moon and be done with this villain?
10:56 BTR, again using their bardic knowledge class ability, to wake up spies this time.
10:56 Can we just leave Katie with Moon, and have him want to send her back after a few hours?
11:00 Jeez, Logan just cannot catch a break, can he?
11:02 "Oops?"
11:02 I mean, those demands didn't seem that unreasonable. Until the sheep field.
11:03 WHY DOES KATIE GET ALL THE BEST LINES?
11:03 Crap! He read the Evil Overlord List!
11:04 "I'm bored, Klytus." Wait, a reference that isn't the Beatles?
11:05 Katie is death on heels! WITH HER HEELS!
11:05 "In TUXEDOS!"
11:05 They're called "solicitors" in London, Logan.
11:05 The van has sensors to detect helplessness. It's like a magnetic field.
11:06 I like to think that they all did the costume quick change. And then I remember how Harper in Wizards mentioned that she hated that because it made her feel like she was naked for a split second.
11:06 Such overly specific analogies everyone uses!
11:07 I like to start with a nice "ba" or "kya".
11:08 Really? If you don't keep pressing the jam button it doesn't work? Wouldn't it be better to only have to press it once?
11:09 I am fairly certain that is not how volcanoes and earthquakes work.
11:09 How are they getting this transmission from MI:6 if all communications were jammed? See, this is why you need a jam button that doesn't need to keep getting pressed.
11:10 They have the bardic ability to Mug For Camera. Bards have always been based on rogues, but with more of a performance based theme. /terriblepun
11:11 This is the best blaster ever. Great sound effect, no recharge time or ammo needed, variable area of effect to only hit bad guys. I really want one.
11:11 The pen doesn't need recharging either.
11:12 "She's got a body like a battle axe." Katie's theme song in my head.
11:12 I'm really certain the effects would not be that immediate either.
11:13 JUST PURSE YOUR LIPS AND BLOW JAMES!
11:13 And the moon shouldn't come right back either!
11:13 Why doesn't Katie do something useful, like punch Moon in the face at this point? Oh wait, the villain has her in the Standard Female Grab Area, and she is therefore helpless.
11:14 God, Katie and Kendall are so awesome.
11:14 This is such a traumatic death sequence. Floating off into space, into the void between stars?
11:16 Wait, I just realized this was our first Weekend At Bernie's joke in the entire film. With as many tranq darts as this film had, I'm surprised.
11:17 And with 13 minutes left in the film, the first and only non Beatles song appears. Oh wait, there was karaoke guy doing the BTR theme. Doesn't really count though.
11:23 She's not even curious about what they were doing all day if they weren't sightseeing. It's better to keep the parents in the dark about the spy stuff anyway.
11:23 I totally saw the Sandwich joke coming at the beginning too.
11:23 SHE WOULD NOT BE THIRD IN LINE! THAT IS NOT HOW IT WORKS!
11:24 They were totally naked for a split second there. Right in front of the girl's father, who didn't say anything.
11:25 AND SCENE!
